Life is cyclical - Day 2

Taking Mom to the Dr. today, made me think about the many trips that she took me to when I was younger, or at least that is what I tried to focus on. I didn't want to focus on the fact that she is literally loosing her mind. I have often joked that she was, but now that it is fast becoming reality; this sucks.

Through the lack of tolerance I was having while waiting with my brother for our parents to show up for the appointment which was already set to have begun 10 minutes prior; I tried to aim my focus on what was within my control. I could remember how much I loved them, or focus on the time I was quickly losing from my already too hectic day. I could look lovingly at my mom when she showed up happy to see me, or I could scold her for being late...again. I could give her a hug and help her with her coat, ease her gently into the borrowed wheelchair or I could rush her and get her worried that she was wasting my time. I chose all the initial options versus the later and am proud in doing so.

Yet I found myself wondering why these choices are now constantly being placed before me.

Life is a circle.

I'm facing the same choices that my parents made with me when I was younger, they wondered and had two paths to choose from for each appointment that I had. They could choose to hug me close and kiss my face or slap my butt when I spilled something on my clothes as we were heading out the door which put them only further behind in their already too busy day. They could smile at the silliness that is a toddler or get angry for the time it takes to get the little one dressed and out the door in the winter time in MN. They could walk hand in hand with me up and down the steps allowing me to assert my own independence in the Dr's office or they could whisk me up and rush me to the counter to avoid the embarrassment of being late. They could choose to let me struggle with my zipper to "do it my own self" or snarl and quickly unzip it for me.

They chose the first options and I am all the better for their choices; time to repay debts owed.